


Can't Help Looking

by LexaWard



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Can't help falling in love, Family Discussions, Family Meal, Found Family, M/M, Mutual Pining, Pining, Sexuality discussion, caleb pov, the mighty nein - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-26
Updated: 2019-05-26
Packaged: 2020-03-19 20:26:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,064
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18977755
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LexaWard/pseuds/LexaWard
Summary: Caleb was staring at Mollymauk from across the table and wondering if it was ever going to get any different. This small flutter in his chest whenever the tiefling laughed.





	Can't Help Looking

**Author's Note:**

> I realised that I haven't done any fics from Caleb's POV, probably because I relate to Molly more, you know, dead inside and all that. So figured I sit down and see what I could do. Turns out, not much. But hey I hope you enjoy!
> 
> Also these are my personal opinions on what all their sexualities might be, idk if I'm right but until I get some more confirmation *shrugs shoulders*

Caleb was staring at Mollymauk from across the table and wondering if it was ever going to get any different. This small flutter in his chest whenever the tiefling laughed. Mollymauk was one of those people who expressed life with their entire being; he tossed his head back, his shoulders shook and his chest puffed with the exhale of his laughter. The way his eyes would water if he found it particularly funny and then the baubles and trinkets which hung from various piercings and his horns would jiggle and glisten in the given light. It’s part of who Molly is and Caleb was entranced every time. 

Except Caleb realised he was staring and decided that it would be best to pull out a book and focus on that instead. Blushing to himself he looked down at the crinkled page that was dog eared in the corner. He knew it off by heart really since he’d used it so many times but the book was a ruse that had helped on many an occasion. Leomund’s Tiny Hut, the impenetrable safe haven from the world. Something Caleb aspired to be, with his memories, emotions and regularly found himself failing at. Caleb could blame everyone at the table, namely himself (of course), but was slowly but surely (Mollymauk especially) breaking down every layer of safety he had for his closed off emotions. It was terrifying but glancing at Molly from the corner of his eye as he swallowed his ale and managed to strip away just another slice of layer. Mollymauk Tealeaf with his enigmatic smile, awful charm and blood red eyes...Caleb moved his eyes back down to the book very quickly.

After a few minutes he put his book away again as he regained control of his own concentration and re-joined the conversation. There was a moment though just as he looked up from his coat pocket where he saw a flash of red quickly looking away from him and for a moment he thought maybe he’d caught Molly’s attention. That happened a lot, Caleb found, his brain working too fast and thinking lots of maybes and ifs. Maybe he was staring too? What if he likes me too? Of course it was ridiculous, Mollymauk was the life and soul of a party and Caleb was just not good enough. He was a piece of shit who didn’t deserve anything let alone someone as good and happy like Molly. Caleb knew he would only corrupt him with his selfishness so he wasn’t even going to contemplate pursuing it. No, those maybes and ifs were simply a projection. A manifestation of emotions he couldn’t control. For a start, Mollymauk liked all varieties of life and all walks so he probably hadn’t even looked twice at someone as bland as Caleb considering he paid extra care to be as unassuming and boring to look at as possible. Caleb was almost certain that while Molly regarded him as a friend he definitely didn’t want more than that. Almost certain. That was the clincher, Caleb couldn’t help a little flame of hope that thought maybe, _just maybe,_ Molly might like him too. It felt perverse really, to want to be with someone who you knew you would be no good for and yet. Caleb, like a moth to a flame, looked at Molly again, he was picking his nails with a dagger. He was concentrating with a small frown on his face as he took out a rough scrap of glass paper and proceeded to file them down so they were blunt. He looked away again and listened to the hum drum of his companions, making small additions here and there but mostly content to drink his ale and nod along. 

Getting distracted as Jester and Nott got into a dick drawing fight Caleb found himself getting involved in trying to avoid dicks being drawn onto his arms. As he fought two brushes coming at him left and right he was laughing batting them away.  
“Stop! I don’t need dicks!” He giggled swiping at Jester who giggled herself.  
“Oooo come on everyone needs a bit of dick!” Jester giggled,  
“I don’t!” Beau yelled out proudly.  
“Well yea but Caleb could do with some dick! Or pussy, I don’t know what he likes. What do you like?” Jester said jumping in her seat and watched Caleb squirm as he started to blush. Like a tortoise he shrunk himself down,  
“You don’t have to answer that!” Nott chimes in batting away Caleb’s brush as she tried to sneak it past his defences.  
“Both.” He mumbled looking at the table. There was a pause in both chatter and brushes.  
“Huh, interesting.” Molly said matter of factly. Caleb looked at him that flame glowing just a bit brighter for a second as he blushed deeply and looked into his mug.  
“Well, since we’re on the topic, I vote everyone chime in with theirs since Caleb shared his the dear. I’ll go first! Anyone and anything!” He chimed out and grinned leaning forward and staring at Caleb. Caleb couldn’t help the small smile that pressed across his face. The blushing wasn’t entirely embarrassment he found. It was a small thrill really to know that both he and Molly could be together; if at least sexually.   
“Women!” Beau reiterated again grinning teeth bearing her pride.  
“Same.” Fjord coughed blushing himself.  
“I’ll go with men, although one guy really but he’s got really nice hands.” Nott proclaimed and then drifted off to herself. Caleb smiled wider because nothing made him smile like Nott’s happiness.   
“Women. Although. I agree with Nott, I like it when we have a connection.” Yasha explained with her soft voice.  
“Yo Caduceus!” Beau said and said cow man leaned his head out from the kitchen slowly,  
“Yeah?” He asked with a smiling coming into full view with his apron and bowl mixing something together.  
“You like sex?” Beau asked and Fjord choked on his drink a little.  
“Beau, tacts.” He scolded and she held her hands up in defence,  
“Too much?” She asked to a solemn nod,  
“Huh…I’d never given it much thought. Bear with.” Caduceus nodded and disappeared back into the kitchen.  
“What about you Jester, since you opened this little convo?” Molly teased getting everyone back on track while Fjord and Beau went back and forth about social convention and being brusque. She bumped the handle of her brush against her chin as she thought and hummed.  
“I don’t know.” She said pensively.  
“What d’ya mean?” Fjord asked looking around everyone to check they were just as confused.  
“Well. Like, hmm, it’s like, guys are cute especially when they have good butts. And girls are really cute too, like muscles ya know. But then, I’ve never actually _had_ sex so I don’t know.” She shrugged as Beau choked on her drink,  
“You’re a virgin? You grew up in a brothel!” She said through coughs as she hit her chest.  
“It’s not like Mamma put me to work. She was actually really protective and didn’t want me to know the clientele at all.” She defended crossing her arms and everyone looked awkwardly at each other.    
“That’s fair. To the Ruby!” Mollymauk raised his mug in toast which Jester clapped happily and grabbed her own mug raising it in glory.  
“The best lay _ever!_ ” She sang out as everyone joined in toasting as well. Caleb raised his ale and caught Molly’s eye, when the other saw him trying to make eye contact he smiled brightly and as everyone lowered their mugs he mouthed ‘Thank you’ and Molly grinned with his teeth winking at him.

There was that flutter again, so familiar now as he cupped his hands around both sides of his tankard and ducked his head again avoiding eye contact lest someone realise what he’s actually thinking. Caleb thinks he’s too obvious sometimes that he can’t help the fact that he’s destined to keep failing and hiding his emotions is just another thing he can’t do. Except he was doing one thing right, he was very gently falling in love.

Caduceus came out of the kitchen with a plate of cake that was definitely vegan and placed it down on the table with plates for everyone.  
“I don’t have one.” Caduceus said dishing out plates and then the cake-like dessert.  
“What d’ya mean?” Jester asked non-plussed her head tilting.  
“I’ve never really thought about it and thinking about it, I don’t think about sex. So I don’t have a sexuality.” He nodded as everyone’s minds nodded.  
“Huh. Didn’t know that was an option.” Molly nodded,  
“Makes sense not everyone can be a slut like me.” He winked at Caduceus sitting back with a wide grin.  
“I hope you like the cake.” He said and sat down with everyone as they tucked in and started eating what was admittedly a great fucking cake.

Mollymauk started laughing heartily at Beau’s sexcapades dropping in his own experience and definitely bragging about it. Caleb tried to look somewhere that wasn’t Molly and ended up focusing on his tail instead; not great but it’ll do. It was draped over the back of Molly’s chair the end flick like an out of sorts pendulum swaying back and forth the spade creating a nice hypnotising focus and it did wonders to let Caleb fall into a trance. His eyes followed the spade gently back and forth until without really realising his eyes blurred and moved with it. If anyone noticed they didn’t comment and he found he was content to follow Molly’s tail and let everything become white noise.

Eventually Molly must’ve gotten tired as it lowered onto the back of the chair and coiled around the back resting onto it. Having lost his focus Caleb blinked slowly and looked around finding his tankard empty (he hadn’t realised he’d been drinking) but he found himself so relaxed that isn’t of just feeling tired he felt sleepy. Yawning a little he held the back of his hand up to his mouth and stood up his chair scraping on the back of the floor.  
“I’m going to bed.” He announced and instinctively patted Nott on the shoulder as a goodnight before scooting around the table.  
“But it’s not even midnight!” Jester protested and he stopped behind Mollymauk.  
“Ja, but Molly’s tail put me to sleep.” He said as if it made perfect sense and stroked along the curve of Molly’s tail where it rested on the back of the chair and Mollymauk sat up straight his spade flicking and stroking the underside of Caleb’s wrist in return. Caleb, oblivious in his sleepy state, smiled at everyone and turned his head to the side and yawned again.  
“I’ll see you all in the morning, guten nacht.” He nodded and turned around to the stairs giving Molly’s tail one last stroke in goodbye before letting it go and trying to leave. He didn’t get very far as he was pulled back by Mollymauk’s tail wrapping tightly around his wrist.  
“Mollymauk?” He asked dumbfounded while Caleb was staring at his tail looking mortified.  
“I-um…Sorry.” Molly stuttered out as Caleb looked down at his wrist wrapped in purple. Caleb couldn’t help the flutter in his chest,  
“Oh, cute.” He said without really thinking,  
“What?” Molly swallowed.  
“Your tail is so cute.” Caleb’s free hand came up and he stroked the spade end.  
“O-o-oh.” Molly exhaled in a shudder his tail tightening around Caleb’s wrist. After a few moments of silence – from everyone mind – Caleb sobered a bit remembering himself and smiled a little awkwardly,  
“Well you’re going to need to let go or come with me.” He gave a single unconvincing laugh trying to  joke but Molly just stared at him and blinking rapidly as if he’d been told he needed to make a life or death decision.  
“Mollymauk…?” Caleb asked a spark of hope rattling about in his heart perking up his heart rate. _This hesitance couldn’t just be-_ Molly let go. Or rather unwrapped it using his hands.   
“Right. Yes. Sorry. Night, m-Caleb.” He said looking at the floor holding onto to his tail tightly.  
“Ok…right. Goodnight.” Caleb said trampling down on his disappointment he looked up at everyone who all suddenly looked away.  
“Everyone. Guten Nacht.” He added quickly and then turned to the stairs and left.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm marking this completed because while it's not really done I have absolutely no idea what to do with it or where to go, so instead of it sitting gathering dust in my WIP folder I figured I'd post some of it cause why not?
> 
> Hope you liked the drabble. :)


End file.
